. . .but never forgetting.
The more I try to understand life, the more I seek new answers. I got the chance to retire and I took it, I put some time and effort into my books and got the first two published and set up the templates for more to follow. I have met some wonderful people and I have found strength in myself that I never knew existed. I have the strength to believe not only in me, but in the fact that others believe in me as well.
The confusing part here is, the time I spent on my books, was what I thought I wanted, I blogged every week, I had freedom to come and go, to be where I needed to be, I was where I thought I wanted to be, then something happened; I found myself missing people, interacting with people, seeing smiles, activity, movement. I found that I was loosing touch with earth energy, I could see it but I couldn’t dip my hand in it to feel it rush by. The energy of all things, the river of life was just out of my reach.
Oh it gets better, I wanted now to get back in the river, slowly mind you, one foot at a time, maybe just stand on the banks for a while to adjust. No, headfirst I went, no worries I thought, I could swim, just a relaxed stroke to stay where I was in the current. The banks seemed to get smaller; the river of energy was getting wider, more people, and more life, more living. I was going too far out, loosing my balance once again, I was losing my creative side, by focusing too much on staying stationary in a current that was getting stronger.
Metaphors aside, I went from one extreme to the other, writing every day to not writing at all. The reality came when my editor asked me to write some pages for BawB’s Raven Feathers Vol III, I said “no problem” but, there was this one little thing; I had nothing. My mind was a complete blank, a writer with no words, and a page with no meaning. I was devastated. But alas, I am a writer now, because I have had no words, because to all of you writers that are smiling, this is what writing is all about. We write because we want to, if we are forced to, we cant, if we choose not to, we miss it, writing is a release for us, a smile that comes form the inside and transforms into words. Keep smiling my friends and keep writing.
I write because I want to, it makes me want to smile
I’ll write these words I have to share, I hope, for quite a while.